A little humor and a lot
of common sense combine to help quilters make future
plans for their beloved stashes and quilts.
A quilter was once heard
to say, "If I was put on earth to accomplish a
certain number of things, surely I will never die, for I
have too many unfinished projects!"
This is the unfortunate
truth: First you stash, then you die.
No matter how many UFOs
(unfinished objects) a quilter creates or acquires in her
futile attempt to stave off the inevitable, quilters'
heaven eventually calls.
Discussions of death are
so sensitive, many people make no plans of any kind.
Others are better prepared; they have talked matters over
with their loved ones and made their wishes known. But
even the most organized, best intentioned,
super-responsible quilter has a difficult time planning
what to do with her stash. This fabric, these books,
those quilts, are, after all, her alter ego, the physical
extension of her artistic self, her creative soul. Losing
the body is easy, by comparison. There are too many
cookies in the body, anyway.
This is a call to release
the fear of planning for your stash's future. Making
arrangements now does not mean that the fabric police
will come calling too soon, depriving you of fondling
opportunities or the chance to use that really gorgeous
fat quarter in your next masterpiece. Acquisition does
not have to cease because disposition plans have been
made, either. Nor does creation. In fact, if you plan a
loving home for your stash you might get a boost to
initiate or complete certain projects, read set-aside
books, try new techniques.
Indeed, making plans for
your stash relieves not just your here-and-now but also
the future of your relatives and friends from any of a
number of grisly scenarios -- bewildered spouses
wondering what to do with it all (they're still stuck at,
"Where did she hide this stuff, anyway?"),
non-quilting children practically giving (giving!) away
prized thimble collections at yard sales, quilters
feeling horribly guilty as they leave those yard sales
with near-freebies in hand...
You can avoid all of this
if you treat the disposition of your stash just as you
would any of your other valuable possessions. Decide who
should receive what. Who would most appreciate your
leaving them your feedsack scraps? Yellow calicoes?
Contemporary/art quilt books? "But this (book,
fabric, wall hanging, pattern, batting (batting?) spoke
to me!," And so it did. Treat it with respect, then,
and guard its future.
Herewith some ideas for
making plans that will provide comfort and surcease to
those unfortunate enough to remain behind on earth when
you ascend to heaven (quilters are not welcome in hell --
too many sharp objects in our hobby):
Idea 1: Leave your stash
to one quilting relative. She or he will probably keep
what they like and give away or sell the rest. Trust
their future judgment, no matter how different your
quilting styles. They will appreciate the gesture, and
you know that your stash will be respected and
appreciated.
Idea 2: Ask all of your
quilting relatives to divide the stash among themselves.
If your family gets along, this is a great idea. If there
are tensions, you have just helped to start a feud. Be
realistic when assessing your family's ability to agree
gracefully on who gets the plaids, who gets the
reproductions, and who gets stuck with your
"binge" period purchases. You could sort
through your stash and assign various items yourself now.
Whether you wish to tell the intended recipients what
they will receive depends upon your ability to withstand
prolonged discussions that will both include and exclude
you, and how well you can deal with the social
repercussions from now until your demise. What if it is
years away? What if the knowledge that you are leaving
your Hoffmans to so-and-so inspires her to hasten your
exit?
Idea 3: Leave your stash
to charity. There are several ways to do this. You might
name a charity known for making quilts for good causes --
your guild, your church, your sit and stitch group. You
might leave your stash to friends with the stipulation
that they make several quilts for a charity you name.
They probably will follow your wishes (never overlook the
guilt factor). It never hurts to leave a wealth of
information and materials to educational or recreational
organizations, such as after school clubs, scouting, your
church's youth group, the parks and recreation
department.
Idea 4: Convene a
gathering of quilting friends and relatives. Celebrate
your shared love of quilting. Make a list of who would
like what. You might go so far as to bundle and label
according to who wants what. (This exercise might change
whom you wish to have invited to your memorial service.)
Idea 5: Ask that your
quilting friends and relatives meet after you are gone to
divide your fabric and other stash items. You might ask a
particular friend to come early and sort your stash by
color or fabric type (plaid, stripes, etc.) or use. (Tip:
the person for whom color coding of Tupperware has never
worked is not the person to assign this task, no matter
how much you love her.)
Idea 6: Make up for all
the times you bought only the minimum number of
opportunity quilt tickets and donate your stash to the
guild to sell as a fund-raiser. (Take pains to be sure
your tax preparer doesn't know about this plan, for one
who doesn't quilt will surely faint once the final
accounting is done.)
Idea 7: Look after the
most important aspect of all: document your love of
quilting and participation in this wonderful expression
by writing at least a letter about your passion to be
included among your quilting possessions, and by making
sure the quilts you own are fully and securely labeled.
And that's what this is
about -- a final accounting of your dedication to
quilting via fabric, book and other quilting accouterment
collections. Please don't ignore your stash in your
preparations for settling your affairs. Your relatives
will definitely appreciate your thoughtfulness for their
responsibilities, so will the recipients, and you can
truly rest in peace.
The Legalities
of Willing Your Stash and Quilts
Casey Gluckman has been
quilting for most of the 20 years she has practiced law.
She provides these answers to frequently asked questions
about wills:
Is it really worth
doing a will just to hand down my quilting stash?
A will is a legally
recognized, formal statement of how you wish your
possessions to handled after your death. Whether you have
only a few possessions or are wealthy, a will provides
comfort to you and your loved ones. It allows them to
honor your wishes in such a way that they are not faced
with having to guess at what you might have wanted.
Chances are good that in
addition to your quilts, sewing machine(s) and beloved
fabric and notion stashes, you have other treasures or
family heirlooms. These items are meaningful to you, you
think, but probably not to anyone else. Think again. A
will is the only way you can ensure that items you love
and care for will fall into the hands of someone who
understands your feelings and will appreciate your gift.
An overlooked value to a
will is its ability to transmit family history. For
example, you might include in your will a statement such
as, "The blue and white bear's claw quilt, size
98" x 102", made by my grandmother Elizabeth
Smith to celebrate her 50th wedding anniversary in 1899,
goes to my granddaughter Jane Smith Poe."
What happens if I
don't make a will?
Every state has passed a
law setting out who will get your estate (property,
stash, quilts) if there is no will. This is called dying
"intestate." The problem with these laws is
that they were written years ago when the norm was the
"intact" family. In today's world of blended
families, long-time but unmarried partners, and quilting
friends who may be closer to you than your siblings,
families are far more complex than those laws ever
contemplated.
If you die without a will,
your treasures will go to the people the state says they
should go to, not to the people you would like to receive
them. Examples of recipients that the state would not
recognize are step-children, philanthropic organizations,
nieces and nephews, or dear friends. Still not convinced?
Imagine your stash being used as car washing rags by
someone who had no idea that this where quilts come from.
Shouldn't I
consult a lawyer to make a will?
If you have no minor
children and no complex family situations such as some of
those mentioned above, one of the forms available in a
supply store or from a book will probably be all you
need. If you do have a complex family situation,
complicated desires on where certain items should go,
need to establish a trust fund to support minor children
or other dependents, or have a large estate where tax
issues become important, you need to talk with a lawyer
who specializes in wills. The first visit is often free.
Anyway you look at it,
making a will is the kindest thing you can do for your
family, your stash, your quilts and yourself.
©1998 Andi Reynolds